It was one of those weeks when even as I walked into a packed room in Studio 2, I had no idea what I was going to do or say. I was trusting, as always, that the Info would come to me, but I was feeling a little "Uh, anytime time now...."
As I raised the marker to the white board where I write my theme every week, I found myself praying: "Mother, flow through me." It helps tune me back into the Universe and myself (same thing).
There I was, in front of almost 40 people, completely blank. But as my pen hovered over the board, the phrase "Wild Dance of No Hope" popped into my head. I wrote it down.
I have a poster at my house that features a poem by Jennifer Welwood in which the last few lines go like this:
This poem's had a big influence on me, with its references to death and the power of transforming fear into life force. It encourages us to make the most of our time between now and then.
To me, the wild dance involves releasing all expectations of what my life is supposed to look like, what I'm supposed to be doing, and how others around me are supposed to be behaving to make me "happy."
According to conventional society--the rules of which are based on fear--being alone for any significant amount of time is really, really dangerous and bad. In that silence, you might start to suspect that you've been missing your whole precious life while distracted by all the smoke and mirrors. You might feel inspired to make some radical changes, including no longer caring what society says you have to do, or how you have to be.
You might even start doing what you want.
The first song in my weekly playlist was The The's "True Happiness This Way Lies." It's about the ego's little tricks and how we continually look outside ourselves--to our relationships, and buying huge amounts of stuff, and having the perfect job or car or house--to make us feel "complete."
This is why most relationships (with people and things) end in bitterness and disappointment. After the initial infatuation, we realize that once again, this person or object isn't going to fill our gaping heart-holes either, so we go looking for a new filler, and the cycle repeats indefinitely until we awaken from the Great Illusion.
As Welwood reminds us in her poem, "Everything that can be lost will be lost." So through relationship with others, we have all these opportunities to practice. If you approach every interaction with the understanding that you are already a complete, fully functional, independently owned and operated Human Being, if you can drop all your expectations of life and others and relax about where your adventure is taking you, you can rock the Wild Dance of No Hope. Let it help you shed all the old beliefs, labels, and stories that are holding you back.
Until next week, Human Beings, dance like a fool! Oh, and many thanks to a bunch of you who have asked if I'm teaching this summer. You've inspired me to take my show on the road. I've chosen Budo Ryu in SLO, where I train Muay Thai and jiujitsu, to host two summer sessions. I'll let you know the dates asap.
All my heart,
Things to Practice with Your Spacesuit This Week
1. Repeated from last week, because this concept is so important: V-e-r-y....s-l-o-w yoga pushups, with elbows in and a good plank going on (aka chaturanga). 10 seconds down, 10 seconds up. I can do 2 so far. Remember, slowness is a path to mastery and tremendous strength.