Warrior Woman/Magnificent Man Breakfast

People who see me eating my peculiar, goulash-like breakfast concoction are always asking me, "What IS that?" in this repulsed-yet-curious way that I find adorable. There are a lot of people who see me eating my goulash, because (being a writer and inveterate night owl) I usually get up about two hours later than everyone else where I live, which means that I'm often eating my breakfast when they're eating lunch or having meetings.

So I thought that rather than continue to send out separate emails to those persistent enough to want me to write down the recipe for them (this separates the metaphoric men from the mere lookee-loo sheep), I thought I'd write up a quick post on what IS that bowl of stuff that I eat virtually every morning.

Now, keep in mind, my nickname around here is either RedBull or Fireball, depending whom you talk to and on what day. (Other days I'm known affectionately as "that pain the ass," but that's another story.) Therefore, those wanting to have more energy and get healthy tend to look at me, look at my breakfast, look at me again, and then ask, "So, seriously—what's in there?" Thus, without any further ado, I give you my ever-evolving Warrior Woman/Magnificent Man Breakfast Recipe. Promise you won't tell anyone.

In a big, pretty (or ruggedly masculine) bowl, combine:

about 1 cup of blueberries (organic fresh is the most awesome, but Trader Joe's organic frozen berries are great, too, and a little cheaper)

2-3 tablespoons of Protein Greens (from Paradise Essentials)

1-2 tablespoons of raw, organic coconut oil (my fav is Artisana from New Frontiers Natural Foods)

2 teaspoons bee pollen/royal jelly/propolis mix (Royal Rush by YS Bees rocks)

1/4 - 1/2 cup of organic ground flax seed

2-3 tablespoons raw, organic chia seeds (you may want to start slow on that amount)

1 teaspoon organic, raw maca powder (I like Maca Magic brand: nonjittery energy, adrenal-healing, hormone-balancing magic, that is!)

Instructions: Smoosh and eat. Try not to converse until you've swished the blueberries and chia seeds out of your teeth. Or, if you don't care whether you spit little dark-colored bits at people's faces while you expound charmingly on topics of your choice, you can skip that step.

I think that's it. Sometimes I put in other stuff, like goji berries or some kelp granules.

Three main things you might notice about my recipe:

1.) It has loads of good fat. Did you know that 1-3 T of coconut oil daily has been found to substantially decrease and even reverse Alzheimer's symptoms and brain degeneration? Not to mention help you lose tons of weight? And the almond butter (not peanut! one word: aflatoxin) is raw and organic to preserve the integrity of the fats, also adding protein to the mix.

2.) Organic and raw. I repeat: organic and raw. (Technically, California almonds can't be raw because the government has to protect us from the horrors of raw, nutrition-dense foods, but at least they use low heat.)

3.) Very low sugar content. I've eliminated grains and sugar from my diet, except for the berries, a banana a day on average with more almond butter, and the occasional bite of birthday cake just to be sociable. I've lost my annoying little baby pooch (yeah, so Cisco's 12--what's your point?) and gained a good bit of muscle.

Now, you may ask, with all that talk about raw-nicity: do I eat meat? Oh, yeah. Guess what kind? (Wait for it....) Free-range, organic, grass-fed, sustainably farmed, humanely slaughtered, and practically everything but named Pookie.

So there you have it. Any questions? Leave a comment and I'll see if I can confuse you even further.

PS: Wait! I almost left out my traditional in-your-face blog bit! Here it is: If you want to become or continue to be overweight, are looking forward to developing diabetes and cancer, or just plain old want to feel like crap, continue to follow the USDA Food Pyramid Eating Guide. Lots of grains, low-fat everything, and make sure there's processed soy in most of your foods! Easy breezy!