After a weekend of chasing stratosphere-bound super cells and exploring the mysterious canyons of Lake Nacimiento's furthest reaches in the intrepid Mathilda, I find myself here, on my living room floor, with very few thoughts in my head.
I like reaching the point where I'm so pleasantly, thoroughly tired that I can contentedly stare at the evening sunlit trees for, oh, I guess until it's dark. With as much energy as I have, sometimes it takes a lot for me to gain access to this strangely beautiful, peaceful perspective.
I feel deliciously empty. Pure. Streamlined. Like only the Essence of me remains inside this spacesuit body. No bullshit, no masks, no labels of my own or others burdening me, no anxiety about the future or regret about the past. Just existing in one indescribably delicious moment that seems to extend in all directions infinitely.
And then..... here comes a thought like this, before I can stop it:
Hey, you're SO TOTALLY experiencing the present moment right now!!! Yay you! Atta girl! BTW, not to interrupt, but what have you decided on for dinner? Also--just real quick--have you gained a few pounds? I mean, don't get me wrong, you still look great (I mean the Big 5-0 is right around the corner, yes?), but I was just wondering about that new little extra there around your middle. SO not a big deal, just thought you might want to keep an eye on it....blahblahblahblah, etc.
Oh, hello, little ego. Dammit. Whuh, whuuuuuunh.
Sigh. Well, at least I felt it for a little bit, I remind myself. Practice, relax, practice, relax. Try not to grip the beauty, just let it float lightly in your hand, and then BE your hand....
And that's what we talked about on Wednesday night. The theme was "Reveal Your True Self." We talked about how very fucking BIG each of us is in reality. Like summer monsoonal thunderstorms, we bloom suddenly with outrageous power, shake things up, rain life-giving energy on everything around us, maybe blast a little town with our 90 mph downdrafts, and then fade and dissipate back into the ether as the evening sun sets. Destruction and creation, surrender and effort, Yin and Yang.
Some of you really resonated with something I occasionally put out there toward the end of my Human Being Trainings. I think it was during Savasana (Corpse Pose) this week. We were looking at this idea of revealing our true selves, peeling back the layers covering it, and how powerful and magnificent this Self is in each of us. I said something like, "You are what you've been looking for."
If you've ever looked for a guru, the perfect teacher who knows you inside and out, someone who can answer all your deepest, darkest questions, look no further. Tag, you're it.
You know that old saying, "When the student is ready, the master appears"? Well, get ready, my friend. You've already got all the answers. Ask your questions, and--here's the part people miss--listen for the answer! [Insert favorite avatar here] is not outside of you. He/She/It dwells in you, because you are He/She/It. You are and always will be inseparable. The only thing you can do to weaken (you can never sever) that connection is to turn your face away from the Truth of Who You Really Are.
There you have it.
In parting, I'd like to leave you with this little poem by Rumi, who delights me endlessly with his love poems to God, i.e., himself:
Late, by myself, in the boat of myself,
no light and no land anywhere,
cloudcover thick. I try to stay
just above the surface,
yet I'm already under
and living with the ocean.
From Essential Rumi, by Coleman Barks
All my heart,
PS: Thanks to Trevor's students who came out for Human Being Training on Thursday night! It was great playing around with you. Here's your reggae-flavored playlist. :)
Things to Practice with Your Spacesuit This Week
1. We started off this week laying down flat with some movements designed to expand both our spines and our minds--to remind us how to take up space and not be scared of our inherent Bigness, our power. Society, with all of its fear-based rules and expectations, is like gravity. To avoid being crushed by it (or an untrained ego), we must often expand not only our bodies, but our minds as well.
3. Come-to-the-Present trick o' the week: Pranayama (breathing exercise) called the Four-Part Breath. Breathe in for the count of five, hold for five, breathe out for five, hold for five. Change the number as you see fit. Rest if your breath gets panicky and resume when ready. Great for stress relief! Definitely don't do when driving. Seriously.
3. Party trick o' the week: Rocking from Halasana (Plow Pose) up to Double Toe-Hold Pose (balanced on butt, legs wide and first two fingers holding toes, lift heart).