Tell Negative Thoughts to "Get OUT"!

Tales of an Aspiring Human, Vol. 1, Episode 2

While talking with an Inner Voice Amplification client this week, I found myself referring to Elaine Benes of Seinfeld fame. Remember her? OMG, I used to love when she would shove Jerry or Kramer or George really hard in the chest and yell, "Get OUT!" or "Shut UP!" Reasons for her outbursts ranged from surprise to anger to outrage, but the effect was always the same--recipients of the shove would stumble, fall, or otherwise get knocked off their feet.

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So this client, who is making remarkable progress toward becoming herself in the world, was having real trouble with a nasty avalanche of negative thoughts like, "Who do you think you are? There are soooo many talented people doing what you do. You'll never make it! Why even try?" You know, those thoughts that hammer you when you're getting close to accomplishing something big. (Haven't tried to do something big yet? Click here!)

That's when I thought of Elaine and her shoves. I pictured this powerful young woman whom I have the honor of coaching giving that shove to the self-doubting thoughts bedeviling her and trying to slow her down. We both laughed, but she said, "Yeah! That feels really good!" I could tell the idea was going to help.

Very often these doubts and self-scourging thoughts come up as we're about to break out of a deep groove in the LP of our lives that has been spinning since our birthdays.

I often joke about how our habitual thoughts and beliefs from our parents and early years are like the classic Led Zeppelin song "Stairway to Heaven." We listen to it for years and the needle makes that groove deeper and deeper until it's really hard to write the song of your own life. You have to pop out of that groove to start something new, but often find yourself mindlessly humming, "There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold...." Aaaaahhhh! Damn it! And there we are again. This is where the discipline of Human Being Training (or any good self-mastery process) comes in. We start over, and over, and over, until we begin to create a new groove for our own unique song.

So the next time your head starts saying shitty things to you (it's your untrained ego, btw), remember Elaine and give those obnoxious thoughts a big mental shove out the door. Remember, you're in charge of how you think and feel. For more info on how to take control of your life experience, you can download my free, quick, and fun e-book, 7 Ways to Live for Real: A Short Guide to the Art of Human Being, when you sign up for my monthly-ish newsletter here.

Know thyself!

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Trump Is Perfect: A Politics-Free Approach to Understanding Why He's Here

In light of the ancient idea that others are mirrors of ourselves, can we take the vastly more empowered and mature view that Trump is a signal to Americans and humanity at large that we must do our own inner work? If we can accept Trump as a reflection of all that is dysfunctional within We the People, and stop blaming the electoral process, other voters, institutions, and even other countries for this outcome, we have an unparalleled opportunity for deep, meaningful change as individuals and as a nation.

On Hating Hate, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Myself

My friends, I'd like to say a few words today on the shootings and other atrocities that are happening at a furious pace in both the US and around the world.

What's causing this (latest) volcanic eruption of hate?

The answer, plain and simple, is that as a species we are terrified. We always have been (wars, etc.), but right now evolution is happening at breakneck speed--and it's demanding that we acknowledge some survival-level issues. If we continue to ignore these warnings, devolution (a descent to a lower state) can settle in.

What we call "hate crimes" are actually the manifestation of deep fear. At the base of all fear is a raging desire to survive. Underneath that is usually a thick, sucking layer of self-loathing.

Even further down past the self-hatred is the unbridled Ego, creating a shifting, treacherous foundation for the whole human house of cards. The great illusion of that shaky foundation is now being brought to our attention powerfully, if we dare to witness it. Some might even say we're collectively being smacked in the head repeatedly by a cosmic two-by-four.

Here's how we got to this point, which even has a name: "The Human Condition." The untrained Ego needs to inflate itself to generate a (false) feeling of safety, security, separateness, and self-importance. It fights like a screaming banshee against anything and everything it perceives as threatening (like a spiritual challenge, different-colored skin, or people who behave "wrong"). Above all, the Ego wants to keep the miserable status quo, which is why most of us are chronically exhausted, sick, and unhappy. The Ego wages a mighty battle with Life--all day, everyday.

My vision of the untrained Ego. Gruesome, isn't it!

My vision of the untrained Ego. Gruesome, isn't it!

This all-out battle cuts us off from realizing (or even remembering) our vast potential as Human Beings. So the cycle of misery continues, and hatred rules the land.

What can we do? It seems hopeless.

But it's not! (Unless you want it to be, and many do.)

[Note to skeptics: The following are the most practical, radical solutions to the problem at hand. Putting even more people in jail, outlawing guns except for the military/police, and passing new fear-based laws will only perpetuate this nightmare, as we have seen. Thank you for your critical thinking skills! Please proceed.]

If you truly want to help, here's what to do now:

  • Talk to your Ego, which you can think of as your "small self." Identify it, name it, look at it, and know that it is not you. When you're upset in any way, your Ego has been threatened and is fighting back, trying to take all of you with it. Recognize that. Tell it, as you would a frightened child, "Hey, I see you're worried about something. You know what, though? This isn't a real threat. Let's save that energy for important things and get back to our work."
  • Stop focusing on the illusory "problems." Pointing out and agonizing over what's wrong multiplies the "wrong" things and makes them stronger.
  • Stop feeding your Ego by getting down and dirty with the latest "news." Like feeling terrible, "catching up on the news" is an addiction. Your Ego loooooves when you feel scared and weak.
  • Don't spend time with people who see themselves as victims of whatever is currently happening in their lives and/or the world at large.
  • Change your thinking so you're seeing the Big Picture more often, creating a sense of space, clarity, and mobility in your life.
  • Do and say things that feel happy and loving. Your emotions are your compass that will guide you from where you are now to where you want to be.
  • Begin falling in love with yourself. It's how the world heals! You are the ignition switch.
  • Accept your power as a Human Being and quit trying to give it away to "authorities" that say they'll keep you safe. They're lying. Besides, ultimately they can't do that.

To conclude: Hating hate is like an eyeball trying to look at itself. It's a closed feedback loop that cancels growth, movement, understanding, and--ultimately--vision itself.

If you want to help, don't be that eyeball. Work on yourself instead of spending so much time telling others, in great detail, how they're doing it wrong, and how, if they followed your logical instructions, they could make you really happy. (Talk about setting yourself up for misery! Yeesh.)

Meanwhile, let me remind you of something you already know in your bones: All is well, despite appearances to the contrary. Undoubtedly, the Universe is unfolding as it should.

Please, my fellow Humans! Breathe, relax, do your own work, and practice compassion for all those who have forgotten who they are. We can only go as fast as the slowest among us.

Thanks for reading,