On Hating Hate, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Myself

My friends, I'd like to say a few words today on the shootings and other atrocities that are happening at a furious pace in both the US and around the world.

What's causing this (latest) volcanic eruption of hate?

The answer, plain and simple, is that as a species we are terrified. We always have been (wars, etc.), but right now evolution is happening at breakneck speed--and it's demanding that we acknowledge some survival-level issues. If we continue to ignore these warnings, devolution (a descent to a lower state) can settle in.

What we call "hate crimes" are actually the manifestation of deep fear. At the base of all fear is a raging desire to survive. Underneath that is usually a thick, sucking layer of self-loathing.

Even further down past the self-hatred is the unbridled Ego, creating a shifting, treacherous foundation for the whole human house of cards. The great illusion of that shaky foundation is now being brought to our attention powerfully, if we dare to witness it. Some might even say we're collectively being smacked in the head repeatedly by a cosmic two-by-four.

Here's how we got to this point, which even has a name: "The Human Condition." The untrained Ego needs to inflate itself to generate a (false) feeling of safety, security, separateness, and self-importance. It fights like a screaming banshee against anything and everything it perceives as threatening (like a spiritual challenge, different-colored skin, or people who behave "wrong"). Above all, the Ego wants to keep the miserable status quo, which is why most of us are chronically exhausted, sick, and unhappy. The Ego wages a mighty battle with Life--all day, everyday.

My vision of the untrained Ego. Gruesome, isn't it!

My vision of the untrained Ego. Gruesome, isn't it!

This all-out battle cuts us off from realizing (or even remembering) our vast potential as Human Beings. So the cycle of misery continues, and hatred rules the land.

What can we do? It seems hopeless.

But it's not! (Unless you want it to be, and many do.)

[Note to skeptics: The following are the most practical, radical solutions to the problem at hand. Putting even more people in jail, outlawing guns except for the military/police, and passing new fear-based laws will only perpetuate this nightmare, as we have seen. Thank you for your critical thinking skills! Please proceed.]

If you truly want to help, here's what to do now:

  • Talk to your Ego, which you can think of as your "small self." Identify it, name it, look at it, and know that it is not you. When you're upset in any way, your Ego has been threatened and is fighting back, trying to take all of you with it. Recognize that. Tell it, as you would a frightened child, "Hey, I see you're worried about something. You know what, though? This isn't a real threat. Let's save that energy for important things and get back to our work."
  • Stop focusing on the illusory "problems." Pointing out and agonizing over what's wrong multiplies the "wrong" things and makes them stronger.
  • Stop feeding your Ego by getting down and dirty with the latest "news." Like feeling terrible, "catching up on the news" is an addiction. Your Ego loooooves when you feel scared and weak.
  • Don't spend time with people who see themselves as victims of whatever is currently happening in their lives and/or the world at large.
  • Change your thinking so you're seeing the Big Picture more often, creating a sense of space, clarity, and mobility in your life.
  • Do and say things that feel happy and loving. Your emotions are your compass that will guide you from where you are now to where you want to be.
  • Begin falling in love with yourself. It's how the world heals! You are the ignition switch.
  • Accept your power as a Human Being and quit trying to give it away to "authorities" that say they'll keep you safe. They're lying. Besides, ultimately they can't do that.

To conclude: Hating hate is like an eyeball trying to look at itself. It's a closed feedback loop that cancels growth, movement, understanding, and--ultimately--vision itself.

If you want to help, don't be that eyeball. Work on yourself instead of spending so much time telling others, in great detail, how they're doing it wrong, and how, if they followed your logical instructions, they could make you really happy. (Talk about setting yourself up for misery! Yeesh.)

Meanwhile, let me remind you of something you already know in your bones: All is well, despite appearances to the contrary. Undoubtedly, the Universe is unfolding as it should.

Please, my fellow Humans! Breathe, relax, do your own work, and practice compassion for all those who have forgotten who they are. We can only go as fast as the slowest among us.

Thanks for reading,
Amanda

You advocate self-love. What does that look like?

Recently a Human Being Training student asked the question: "What does self-love look like?" And here's the short answer to that wonderful inquiry: Self-love looks like doing only what you want. Only what makes your mind-heart-body thrilled (and sometimes a little scared).

This is where people get confused. Unfortunately, people in general (including those who consider themselves highly spiritual) are usually aghast at the idea of doing what they want. It would mean accepting their absolute power over themselves as the creators of their own lives, along with the tremendous responsibility that comes with this ultimate, inherent freedom. 99% of people want no part of that. They want to be told what to do by their religions, their governments, their parents, their schools, their friends, their local law enforcement--they automatically perceive any voice of authority outside of themselves to be more powerful than their own (if they even acknowledge that they have power).

Now, along with this information, I have to explain what "doing what you want" looks like. Two main things:

1. It's not something that happens from a big Eff You kind of attitude, although this can get you started. It's more like this: "Hey, I'm going to do what I want, and I hope you do also, because I want nothing but the best for you." True doing-what-you-want comes from a very loving place. You can't help anyone if you're a total wreck of exhaustion, resentment, and bitterness. We all know sad-sack martyrs. How much are they really contributing to the world?

2. It can often take the form of a major shift in attitude. So, as a CalPoly student said the other night, "I went from saying, 'Damn, I have to do my homework," to "I WANT to do my homework so I do well in X class so I can become the best X in the world, which is my overarching goal." Or my personal favorite, "Wha. I have to stop at Trader Joe's on the way home," becomes "I GET TO stop at TJ's on the way home so I can buy good food with the money I awesomely have, and carry it home in my MINI Cooper car that I love. I'm so effing lucky."

See?

I hope this helps. And I hope you can see now that while this is a very powerful self-love practice, it's also perhaps the least selfish thing you can do. Those who don't understand yet will call you selfish, invariably. But as you learn to take your power back through this practice of being in charge of your own happiness, you'll teach the others around you to as well. Or at least give them a glimpse that something different and wonderful is possible. And that's really what the world needs most right now.

One of my favorite lines from the music I've been listening to lately is "Come down from your cross, we could use the wood." :)

I think martyrdom and socially conditioned "self-sacrifice" are among the most damaging and selfish ideas out there.

But don't take my word for it! Try it out yourself, and please let me know how it goes.

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Understand this in your bones.

The following is something I felt compelled to write down immediately before giving a Human Being Training last weekend. I read it during Corpse Pose at the end of class. These are several dominant themes of my teachings, which are the same ancient ideas the masters have brought to us over the millennia, but in my own voice. Several people wanted me to make it available publicly, so here it is. Thank you for asking!

______________________________________

What I really want you to understand--like, even down into your bones themselves--is that there is no label, or name, or description for how magnificent you are.

The Ego likes little names and categories, because more than anything, it wants you to stay small and docile. Society and all forms of authority outside of you approve and reinforce this process at every opportunity, offering the illusion of safety as a powerful lure to obedience.

There's nothing wrong with the Ego. It's not evil, and you don't have to squash it. What will happen, though, is that as you allow yourself to grow and learn, the true, unlimited You will naturally begin to overshadow the Ego and put it in its proper place: as your servant. It's been your master until now. And that's all that's wrong with the world.

You have a choice of love or fear in every single moment. The Ego chooses fear every time. Your true, beautiful Self will always choose love. Sometimes making decisions from love is absolutely terrifying! But that kind of fear comes from knowing you're being called to play the Big Game.

So quit playing small!

It doesn't help anyone for you to cover up What You Are. In fact, it diminishes us all.

And as you allow your Real Self to emerge comes the opposite of Ego. There comes profound humility, because you realize that everyone, everywhere is also the same unknowable, indescribable vehicle for outright magnificence.

Let your power begin to come through you and overflow.

Use it freely, spread it generously.

You are without limit! Act accordingly.

Meanwhile, remember to rest when the body-vehicle needs rest. Take good care of your physical vessel--your spacesuit--so it can keep up with you. There is great power and beauty in skillful rest.

Namaste.